Peter continues the theme of submission from the last part of Chapter 2 by making application to the husband-wife relationship (note the use of the word submit in 2:13 and 2:18 and submissive in 3:1). Most of this section is directed to wives, but Peter has important things to say to husbands as well.

Wives are to be submitted to their husbands so that any unbelieving husband might be won to the faith by his wife's pure and reverent life. A wife's attractiveness is not to be based on external things like clothes, hair, or jewelry, but on the inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. This kind of beauty will not depreciate or wear out. Wives can best influence their husbands, even unbelieving ones, by gentle, Christ-like behavior and not by nagging or pressuring them.

This gentle submissiveness is the pattern set by godly women of the ages, such as Sarah. Christian women who follow this pattern are her spiritual daughters when they treat their husbands with respect.

Husbands are likewise called to submit themselves to their wives' needs and interests. They are to be considerate and gentle toward their wives, not treating them roughly or with disrespect. Husbands need to remember who their wives are. God made them to be different from men. They are wired differently emotionally. Men need to respect this. Women are also fellow heirs of God's gift of life. They are no less worthwhile than men in any respect, especially spiritually. They are different, but they are no less valuable to God. A husband who doesn't treat his wife in this way will find that he is hindering his spiritual life.

This is another illustration of how our walk with Jesus has to show up in our personal lives and in our closest relationships if it is going to be real and effective. It is harder to be Christ-like in close relationships than in superficial relationships and in Bible class discussions, but that is the point. Christ is to be Lord of all your life, not just the parts that are easy to give to him.

1. What are some issues involved and questions raised in the matter of a Christian wife being submitted to an unbelieving husband (3:1)?

 

2. How difficult is it to resist using words when trying to convince an unbelieving spouse? Why is one's lifestyle more convincing than words?

 

3. How is the emphasis away from appearance and toward inner beauty difficult in a society that stresses outward appearance?

 

4. What can husbands do to encourage their wives about their appearance and about the greater importance of their inner spirit?

 

5. How comfortable are wives today, including Christian wives, with seeing their husbands as "master" or "head of the household" (3:6)?

 

6. How important is it to a man that he is respected by his wife?

 

7. What does it mean for a husband to be considerate toward his wife (3:7)?

 

8. How is a woman a weaker partner (or weaker vessel, 3:7)?

 

9. When have you seen a poor husband-wife relationship hinder that couple's spiritual life (3:7)?